I had high hopes. All they had to do was stick to the Indiana Jones tried-and-true methods. It could've been a great, late addition to the series, much like the most recent Die Hard. I should've known better.
The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull got George Lucas-iszed. It was painfully bad. There was waay too much CG, and it was shockingly obvious that it was CG. Even when the sets weren't rendered by computers, too many of them were obviously soundstages. Poorly disguised sound stages.
On top of all that, the dialogue was horrible. It was uber cheesy and the pacing was entirely too slow. The cuts were too slow as well. The camera stayed on shots for much too long. The action was ponderous as well.
Even the soundtrack seemed to be thrown together on somebody's keyboard at the last minute. It was heavy-handed, telegraphing every emotion and situation. The whole thing was essentially a loop of the Indiana Jones theme at differing volumes. It was also ever-present - there was never a moment of peace.
To top it all off, the plot was outlandish beyond reason. Just ridiculous.
Essentially, this new Indiana Jones is much like the new Star Wars movies were ... bad. George Lucas should've left well enough alone.
Final Grade: F
Blurb: Terrible, terrible remake. George Lucas should not be allowed to make movies. The only reason this didn't get the lowest grade possible (F m-i-n-e-s) is because of the nostalgia factor. Seriously, please don't see this.